just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
