i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
