Plan B is the new Plan A
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize