There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
