Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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