This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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