Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
