So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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