Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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