when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize