Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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