The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
