I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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