Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
