I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
