Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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