3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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