At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
