Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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