Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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