You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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