How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
