Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She bit a glass in half.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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