I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I have already put on my inside pants.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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