i'm signing you up for texting rehab
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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