i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
