just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
