Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize