all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
