dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
