how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
