the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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