Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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