Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i now understand why vodka
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
