standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
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Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I sprained my soul last night
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
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Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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