no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
