don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
