I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
