So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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