Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
