i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
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so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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