doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
