she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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