Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
