Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize