at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
