Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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