Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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