pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
