The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
