Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The air taste purple.
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