Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
