I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
