do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
she told me i tasted like america
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
