Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
