It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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