I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
