Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
