the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
