You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
