i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
