we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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