vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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