fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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