he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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