I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
