she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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