Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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