So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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