I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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