i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
