Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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